MEMORIAL DAY -- What it Means to Me

By definition, Memorial Day is a time to remember. One day, out of 365, set aside to remember all those who came before that paid the ultimate price so I could live as a free American.

I grew up as an Army brat and then served 22 years in the Air Force, thus this day means much to me. My father was a Green Beret who spent the prime of his career during the Vietnam era. To this day, 27 years after he retired, he still lives and breathes what his service means to him. “My” war was the first Gulf War. I was at Incirlik Air Base, Turkey and although it was a very challenging time, I certainly was never engaged in anything remotely close to hand-to-hand jungle combat of the Vietnam era or the close up and personal urban warfare our troops see today. In every war though, the saying that “all give some and some give all” certainly applies. On Memorial Day, we pause to honor these heroes of our past, the sacrifices not only they made, but those of their loved ones as well, so they might know how very much we appreciate what they gave. Yes, it is not only about remembering, but also about truly appreciating their gift to us and asking ourselves what our responsibility is in maintaining that gift for those that follow us. At the very least, we have a responsibility to reflect on where we are today as both a nation and a people. Is our country the shining city on the hill that our predecessors fought to preserve? Are we a people that others look up to? I learned in my 22 years in the Air Force that the best way to lead is to set the right example. What kind of example are we setting to the world? Would our forefathers be proud?

The Declaration of Independence states: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” This is one of the drivers that led our predecessors to march into battle and give their lives. Yet, even today, 232 years later, we are deficient in living up to this ideal. Just as the Tuskegee Airmen flew valiantly in the Army Air Corp during WWII and afterwards still suffered segregation, and women were also allowed to serve in many critical positions (to include flying) but then were relegated back to their kitchens after the war, gay men and women today are told they are unequal, not due the same liberties, nor the same right to happiness. Instead, they are told that as long as they pretend to be someone else, they can serve. Never mind they are giving their lives for their country without the right to even name their partner to receive their Survivor Benefit, should they be called to die for their country.

I was recently reminded of how far behind the rest of the westernized world the United States is on this issue when a friend of mine travelled to the Netherlands to lay a wreath at the Dutch Homomonument. This monument was raised on September 5, 1987 in memory of lesbians and gay men who were harassed, imprisoned, or executed. Every May 4th, during the annual national memorial service, gays and lesbians, many in uniform, gather around this monument in the evening to remember all the victims of gay hate. The Netherlands is not alone in such acceptance of gays and lesbians. In fact, the United States is the last of 22 Allied countries with troops in Iraq and Afghanistan to allow gays to serve openly in their Armed Forces. Israel and South Africa also allow gays to serve openly and studies regarding the integration of gays in the militaries of Australia, Israel, Britain and Canada have shown the change to be a non-event.

When I contemplate the sacrifices our men and women in uniform have made, and continue to make, I think about selfless devotion to duty and courage. I also think about honesty and integrity as these are essential characteristics for those responsible for defending our country. That’s why, year after year, the military ranks at the top of careers most admired by the American people. Why then, when honor and integrity are such valued traits of our military men and women, are gays and lesbians forced to hide the truth about who they are…in direct conflict with those values?

There are at least 65,000 homosexuals in the military today and another one million gay and lesbian veterans around the country. These men and women are valued members of their squadrons, their battalions, their ships, and their communities. They serve honorably and in some cases, they die honorably, such as Major Alan Rogers who was killed in Iraq by an IED in January, 2008. According to his commander, he shielded two others from the blast who likely would have been killed were it not for Alan’s bravery. The enemy and the IED they deployed didn’t care that Alan was gay. Neither did Major Margaret Witt’s patients, (an Air Force flight nurse who was discharged after 18 years of decorated service), care that she was a lesbian, only that she could provide them the medical care they needed.

Our military has a history of leading change; of doing the right thing before the rest of the country follows suit. This was certainly the case with the integration of African Americans into the Army. Long before the Civil Rights Act of 1964, President Truman, in July of 1948, signed Executive Order 9981, calling on the armed forces to provide equal treatment and opportunity for black servicemen. This policy was the right thing to do, not only for equality, but also for national defense. Because of postwar racial quotas, black servicemen comprised a large portion of the force and therefore, had a direct impact on the nation's cold war defenses. Today, gay men and women also play a critical role in our nation’s defense. One case in point is that the military has discharged at least fifty-five Arabic and Farsi linguists under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in the last five years. Discharging these linguists hurts military readiness and ultimately costs the taxpayer much more when either the military is forced to find and train another recruit, or hires the discharged member as a contractor who gets paid much more for doing the same job as before (sometimes with the same unit). “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” has forced the Pentagon to discharge nearly 800 vital personnel critical for national security, including linguists and military intelligence analysts, according to a 2005 GAO report. Keep in mind that these men and women were not discharged for being homosexual, but for others finding out they were. Truth is, homosexuals serve every single day, in virtually every single way and assimilate just fine. They are doing the job as valued members of the team and to top it off, most of their co-workers, and sometimes even their bosses, know they are gay. So, you have to wonder, what is the problem?

Our national anthem, the Star Spangled Banner, ends with the words: “the land of the free and the home of the brave”. It is up to each and every one of us to ensure those words always describe our great nation. Apathy and complacency are not the answer, engagement and advocacy are. I am reminded of the powerful message sent by the lone man at Tiananmen Square in the standoff with the tank. That man displayed courage that most of us will never know. He must have been afraid, but he knew that his cause was worth any price, even his life. We have many such causes in America today and all of us must work together to make the right changes. We all should ask ourselves: “if not me, who” and “if not now, when."

This Memorial Day 2008 is especially poignant for me. As I retired from the Air Force last July, this is the first Memorial Day I can celebrate as my true self. Because of how profoundly that new found freedom has changed my life, the cause I’ve chosen to support is repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. I believe civil liberties are a fundamental right of American citizens, and of those civil liberties, none can be more fundamental than the right to be yourself and to love whom you choose. In 1777, Edmund Burke, an Irish philosopher and statesman said, “the true danger is when liberty is nibbled away, for expedience, and by parts”. “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” must apply to all Americans, not just some. I am proud of our country, I’m proud to be one of its citizens, I’m proud that citizenship affords me some of the rights few in the world share, and I’m proud to be working with SLDN to ensure EVERY American enjoys all the rights to which we are entitled.

-Linda Thomas
SLDN Military Advisory Council Member